he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize