sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
