i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need water and some morals
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
