I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you win again, gameday.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
