Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
