Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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