I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
