just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
