i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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