I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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