I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize