I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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