I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
