Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
