I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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