ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
