why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
