Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
