i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
