We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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