I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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