wanna go halves on a baby?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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