She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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