She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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