This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
