How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
