i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
