there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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