worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We were destined to go to rehab together
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize