I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
