I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
