I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
