You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
