My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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