3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
