just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
