you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
