i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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