C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
