Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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