$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I came so hard my ears popped.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
