so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
