Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
