I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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