Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
