A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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