That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize