My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
