there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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