On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i permit you to call me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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