Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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