i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is my gift to your gina
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
