I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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