1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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