I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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