fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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