I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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