But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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