I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
