could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
