chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize