Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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